For real its gone. I have nothing funny to say no mo.
but today I saw this picture and quote and I laughed so hard that I wanted to share it with you.
Its my way of apologizing for the summer of no blogging and being pretty much a lame butt.
Mark Wahlberg : ” I don’t like you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I’d swim out into the ocean and EAT YOU!”
Will Ferrell: “A lion, really? Lions don’t like to swim! If you put it near a river, or some kind of fresh water source, that make sense. But the ocean? Swimming in 20 foot waves — I’m assuming its off the coast of South Africa — to attack a 800-pound tuna with 20 or so of my friends with me? You’ll lose that battle, my friend. You’ll lose that battle 9 out of 10 times. [pauses] Did that turn out how you hoped? Nope.”
Well I’ve been awake since 3 am with a fever. Seriously who gets fever after the age of 10? I just dropped kate off so I could go back to sleep, shower, then head to the dr’s office. Hopefully get put on a antibiotic that will make it all better.
So around 4 am I was thinking about how I don’t want to be sad anymore. Its really not a good look for me. I mean one minute I have a completely valid reason to feel down (like how it all started last fall when a friend caused me some heartache) to feeling sad about almost everything (like how I got super bummed that I lost my free undies from Victorias Secret coupon) to just about everything in between (My key lime pie is to tart :( I miss my family and friends out west :( I miss my DirecTv Service…
Its kind of crazy that holding something in and thinking you can figure it out on your own makes it so you are a walking sad magnet… and everything and anything that can get you down will. Anyway I’m kinda over it. Or at least need to be. also I blame Satan.
So thats that… I’m going to take a nap now… Take a shower with my awesome Purelogy shampoo from Mel.. and then go to doctors.
I am really bad at cheese names. Here’s the cheeses that my mouth likes… cheddar, colby, american, and provolone… oh and cream… and cottage… and string… other than that I don’t like gourmet cheese. Like goat and rabbit. BLECH!!!
I see an upcoming trip to harry’s farmers market coming my way.
that for some reason I am a weirdo magnet at Walmart *every time I go something weird happens… but I stop telling people because it just sounds like I’m making it up*
I shouldn’t listen to AKON while trying to work on my writing.
I look 20million x (that x stands for “TIMES”) better when I’m tan
I will always for the rest of my life be awkward… Yesterday Brother Rupp was walking towards Chad and I and the kids in the hall and I yell out “Hey Guys” for him. Like he was talking to us. So then he says “Hi” and I’m like “I just yelled out “Hey Guys” like you should have said that to us…” and he was like “Don’t worry I understood”
I am starting to think Cliche romantic ideas/gifts/gestures are indeed romantic… but they have to be done all at the same time. I told chad last night that I think the most romantic thing he could do for me was give me a bouquet of balloons, a giant stuffed teddy bear, a huge box of chocolates, in a room filled with a million lighted tea lights, with a rose petel covered bed, with a mixed CD playing of romantic music playing in the background, and a box in the middle of the bed that contained heart shaped diamond earrings, and and and…. if he said “I LOVE YOU” right when the SUN SET!!! I think seperate that stuff is stupid… but combined pretty much as close to perfection as it could get.
I will never be able to defend myself if I’m truly threatened with harm. I know I go through situations ALL the time of beating the crazy out of some SERIAL KILLER MONSTER in my head. but the other day lets just say there was an “incident” where Chad scared the H out of me and I really didn’t think it was him.I thought some maniac had broken into my home in the middle of the morning when chad was at work and I was so PEAR E LIZED with actual fear that it took me about 4 days to feel like I could breathe.
My kids have the power to make me feel better. And I have the power to make them feel better. On valentines day I gave Dallen a paper heart on which I wrote on one side “I LOVE YOU DALLEN” and on the other side “Thank you for being the best son. You always make me laugh” I gave it to him on the way home from church and I watched him read it and he smiled so big and then looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said “Thanks mom” Later that day when I was in bed crying because someone had hurt my feelings Dallen laid down beside me and hugged me and said “Te Amo Mama… Te Amo Mama” over and over. I love my kids. They make my life so much better.
They also make me laugh. The other night I was tucking Kate into bed and I kissed her good night and she said “Please don’t give me a mom kiss again” and I said “Whats a mom kiss” and she said “You know when your breath stinks”
Time is going to pass and I have no control over that. 20 years from now I want to be able to look back at right now and feel proud. And I think that will happen because I look back at what has already transpired and feel pretty good about everything.
I love having friends that are funny and cool and make me happy and break me out of my funk.
That I will always love Diet Coke. and Symphony chocolate bars, and fettuccine Alfredo.
and that I can spell my name on a calculator. 3177345
I have wasted all of my words doing NaNoWriMo so I have nothing funny/interesting/cool to say. At all. In fact last night I woke up in the middle of the night because I had a dream and it was really really awesome and so I reached for my notepad and pen and wrote it down because I thought it was going to be best novel idea this century. This morning I read it and it said “Girl in New York search Bagel” seriously!!! and I remember that I dreamed that I was a girl in New York City searching for the worlds best Bagels. lame.
I just feel so Bah Humbug about blogging. I feel like a loser that I’m just lurking at all my friends blogs but when I have time to read I don’t have time to comment and then I let my reader get all backed up because I feel guilty reading without commenting… so then when I do check it I have around 300 posts to read and that is overwhelming so I just mark all as read. plus My sister in law and I were talking how its a Stretch to find things to blog about right now.
Like I could tell you about the time that I was at CatchAir with Dallen, Kate and Chad and I climbed on this inflatable horse and said in my sexiest man voice to chad “Does this do it for you Cowboy?” and Right when I said that I lost my balance and backflip rolled off the horse and kicked a 4 year old boy in the head.
But I can’t because I already put that as my facebook status the night it happened.
Or how Chad and I made an oath last night to work out every day until Christmas and if he misses just one day then he has to stop playing W.o.W for a month. And if I miss one day then I have to play W.o.W for a month. I think come December 25th we are going to be pretty buff. and I might have an adams apple.
Or I could post all the dresses that I’ve been drooling over at Shabby Apple and how I really really want this one for my birthday. And how I want to get those mustard yellow leather gloves to go with them from target. but I already told you about the gloves and I don’t think thats really interesting for the general public to read about.
Oh I know what I could tell you about! Chad and I were at walmart and we love going to walmart because we always try to see if we could find someone we could take a picture of and send to PeopleofWalmart.com. So anyway this black lady was in front of us and was wearing this shiny gold halter top and brown leggings and shiny gold high heel booties and her butt was crazy. and I don’t mean big. I mean like the perfectly round apple bottom butt. I could not stop staring at it. and I looked over at Chad and he was staring at it too and I was like “woah” and he was like “I can’t stop” and I’m like “me either” and then we looked around and everyone was staring too…. guys, girls, old, young. It was hypnotizing! anyway I don’t know why I told you this but I think I would have taken a picture but I think she might have gotten all up in my face and that would be the end of me. anyway I wish you could have been there. Just so that we could talk about it later on and said “woah” and then all you’d have to say is “I Know!”
well thats all I have. I’m sorry for being grumpy. I need to go workout now because I don’t want to be making a W.o.W elf princess who weilds an emerald encrusted sword named Shelkie come December 26th.
I had to freaking wait until the FBI checked my background until I could exit Walmart with it.
I went dancing with some girl friends for a birthday party.
Its been 8 years since I’ve been dancing in public.
It really showed.
That I still have what it takes!!! (seriously my dance moves are legendary)
I have entered NaNoWriMo
I have to write 50,000 words for my novel by Nov 30th.
I feel really crappy about it and have literally bit my knuckles to keep from deleting huge paragraphs. The point is to keep adding to the word count even if you feel like its complete DOODOO.
I am at 3,364 words a teeny tiny amount over today’s goal.
I have a love affair with breakfast sandwiches from fast food places. With Chick Fil A and McDonald’s being tied in first place. Seriously if I had the money and the metabolism of an Olsen twin I would eat a breakfast sandwich every morning. well shoot if I’m going to be honest I’d eat one for every meal.
Here’s the lineup
McDonald’s- Bacon, Egg, Cheese Biscuit with hash brown and Large Diet Coke
Chick Fil A- Chick-n-minis, Hash brown “Medallions” (sooo delicious and crispy) and Large Diet Dr Pepper
then the runner ups are
Sonic - French Toast sticks and RT 44 Diet Dr Pepper with Vanilla (my sister Sharla got me hooked on these sausage wrapped in pancake batter on a stick a couple years ago… but they don’t offer them anymore;(
Burger King- Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit (I’m not a croissant girl) (yeah I’m definitely a biscuit kinda girl) and a Large Diet Coke
Ihop- Biscuits and Gravy and ham. Or maybe if I’m feeling frisky- French toast
So one morning I’m going through the drive through at Burger King and I order a egg, cheese, bacon biscuit and I get to the window and pay and then wait like 10 minutes. Finally the girl comes to the window and says “Sorry about the wait we are having problems with our microwave” and then she gives me like this “Oh Shoot” face and turns all red and says “I mean…uh… our oven”
It made me laugh so hard! Like if they use the word “oven” that it gives us the image of some sweet plump little grandma in a cute little apron making up a fresh batch of biscuits every 10 minutes.
What’s your favorite breakfast sandwiches/places/or breakfast foods… and does your family have Brinner?
PS I just spell checked my post and it highlighted the word “Biscuit” over and over for me. I had spelled it “Bisquit” thanks a lot bisquick for making me so dumb
Smells like Updog in here (written December 12 2008)
“It smells like updog in here” - Jim
“What’s up dog?” - Micheal Scott
“Not much. How are you?” - Jim
ha ha i love that part from the office.
So we have a dog. Her name is Georgia. And if Georgia had a facebook account her status would read “Georgia smells like a wet dog” and then my facebook status would say “Shellie hates the smell of wet dog” and then one of you smart aleks would replay “Then go take a shower” but then you’d regret saying that because I’d super poke you by throwing a pig at you and then kung fu kicking you in the butt.
We inherited Georgia from our good friends Tamara and Allen who moved to Utah 3 weeks ago :( They didn’t find anyone who wanted her and didn’t want to take her to the pound. So we told them we’d take her in until they can find a home for her.
We go back and forth about wanting to keep her for ourselves. I for one have always wanted a dog. A little friend that I confide in… bury my face in their fur and cry all my aches
and Chad promised Promised me that he would get me a dog once we moved into a house. I have always wanted a Maltese because that was a childhood dog we had. His name was Jocco…
(I stopped it there. Jocco was an awesome dog. Besides the random humping of things of course. He would do all sorts of tricks. play hide and go seek… if I get a maltese I would name him “Return of Jocco or Jocco part Deux)
Teen Angst - Jan 6 2009
My sister and I loved barbies. We had probably over 30 between the two of us. We had a barbie “hope chest” that we could fit them into along with all their clothes. We even had a Rolls Royce for them (It was actually made for Jem) This Rolls Royce was like the coolest car ever. It even had a real radio in the trunk of the car.
Stephanie and I would spend hours playing barbies. They would get married, go to prom, have babies, have fights, die, come back to life. It was like being in charge of our own Soap Opera.
I remember even into Jr high we would still play with them.
So where does Teen Angst come into this?
One night when Stephanie was a Jr in high school and feeling pretty moody and depressed wanted to show our mom and step dad how upset she was about something. So I followed suit. We went into our room and turned off all the lights and lit some candles. Then we played Cranberries CD really loud. We laid on our bed and tried to look as mad and angry as we could.
Well we were still feeling a lot of rage and sadness so we decided to take it to the next level. We went and got all of our barbies and started chopping off their hair, legs, and hands. We painted their faces black with magic marker. Then we strung them up with yarn all over our room and spread all their chopped arms and legs on the floor.
Then we laid back down on our bed and waited for our parents to see how upset and mad we were… oh and probably trying to prove the point at how unfair they were.
So then my mom walked in the room. Saw us laying there. Saw all our barbies that were mutilated everywhere and said “You guys need to clean this up” and walked out.
T
(i feel really sad that we did that. I kind of wanted to give some old barbies to my little girls :(
A shot of Chocolate- august 3 2008
FYI-
If you are having a bad day take a tube of mini m&m’s and open your mouth and dump the m&m’s in your mouth like you are taking a shot of tequila.
(I still do this. It really helps turn those frowns upside down)
Short Stories by Shellie Kendrick - July 1 2008
Sometimes I think I am sooooo funny. Like really funny. And then I get a big head and try to hard and it ends up blowing up in my face. And then I look like the girl who talks to loud at parties…
(I battle with this every day. Yesterday in RS i announced something for primary. I was trying to say about a summer cook off we are having that if you won you would have “bragging rights” instead I said “When you win you can say to everyone else “In your face SUCKERS!” yeah I said that in Relief Society… i’m such a dork)
alright! I cleared up some room in my back office.
A couple months before I met Chad I bought my first car. a 1996 white VW Jetta. It was very cute and I looked totally awesome driving around Orem with my roommates trying to flirt with guys. I forgot the official term for this? Shoot what is it called when you do that?
Well in Utah County if you were young and fun and had your own car and had $25 to blow, you got yourself a personalized license plate frame. If you weren’t young and fun etc… your license plate frame read
“You Know This Guy!”
455 GMO
“Larry H. Miller Toyota”
So one of the first things I did when I got my car was speed right over to University Mall and get my license plate frame. I looked through tons of options like
“Yield to the Princess”
“What My Baby Wants - My Baby Gets”
“I’m Spoiled!”
Finally I found the one I wanted
“Just waiting until my cowboy comes along”
For some reason I laughed so hard and thought it was sooo funny. and at the same time… so true. I mean I love cowboys. Who doesn’t?
So anyway I drove around with that Freakin Rad frame for a couple of months. but then I met Chad …
Chad drove a really nice Jeep Wrangler. He didn’t have a license plate frame. I thought it would not only be a nice suprise but a way fun gift to take my “Cowboy” frame off and put it on his Jeep late one night.
For about 3 days Chad got some weird looks from other drivers. But he also got some winks too ;) He had no idea that it was on there… I mean how many times do you walk around to the back of your car and check out your license plate. Finally I was like “Ha ha ha… Go check out the back of your Jeep…ha ha ha” Then we walked out to the Jeep and he was like “Huh?” I seriously was peeing my pants because I thought it was so funny. Then he went and got a screw driver and promptly took it off.
I guess that’s why a couple of months later he decided it would be really funny to propose to me with a quarter that had a hole drilled through the middle of it instead of a ring.
“Shellie will you marry me”
opens box
I see something shiny in the box
I lean in closer to look at it
I get confused look on my face
That isn’t a ring
I look at him
I am thinking what the H?
He is smiling
Then he starts to laugh
I say
“Where’s the ring?”
He just laughs and laughs. and pulls out the quarter and gives it to me.
punk :)
(he had the ring in the car… he just thought it would be really funny to see the confused/upset/bewildered/semi pissed off look on my face)
Lesson learned early on our jokes/pranks are usually only funny to the prankster not the prankee.
