This past weekend I went up to my aunt and uncles cabin with my sister in law (Lisa) and her husband (Joe)  Lisa is my cousin.  Joe is Chad’s brother.  Thats right two cousins married two brothers.  So its one big happy family see.  Also my mother and father in law came up. 

I have a jokey side.  Which you guys get to enjoy on me bloggy blog.  Its the jokey side I use with 90% of the people in my life.  The other 10% still get a fun version of me but more on the demure side. 

of the 90% of the people that get my jokey side about 10% get the elite jokey side of me.  which means I get really really hyper and super silly and say anything that I want.  Sometimes that elite 10% group mixes with the other 10%.  Thats when problems occur. 

Lisa and Joe are part of the elite group.  My mother and father in law are in the 10% that just see the normal fun shellie. 

So at the dinner table Chad is asked to say the prayer.  One of the things he says is “We are glad to be with with our family and friends”  Well then I start laughing a little because to me it seemed funny because really we are all just family and not “friends”

So then immediatly after the prayer is over I turn to chad and say

“Honey we are all Family here”

and he says

“Yeah but we are Family that are friends too… you can be more than just one”

and I say

“True…. because not only you are my friend… you are also my lover”  with the “you are also my lover”  in my super deep tranny sexy voice. 

So it was meant to make everyone laugh.  But it was pretty much silent.  and then my father in law says in a very serious voice

“That was to much information”

and EVERY ONE WAS SO FREAKING QUIET!

and no one laughed

and it was so awkward for me.  my face was so red. 

thats what happens when I mix the groups up.  complete train wreck.

two things I would have for sure

#1  huge  air conditioned movie theaters that continuesly ran my favorite movies over and over with all the swedish fish and diet coke I could dream of.

#2  A massive bbq that never ends where I can meld all my favorite family and friends together and basically all we would do is eat, tell stories, make jokes and laugh until our faces hurt. 

I’m still here in Utah having the time of my life.  you could read about some of our adventures here, here, and here!

 Chad:  Honey do you want me to pack the GPS?

me: Why would I need the GPS?

Chad:  So you don’t get lost in Utah.

me:  LOL  (for a good couple of minutes)

I’m so happy to be home :)

Well I went to Utah for two days :)

Had a root canal :(

Got to see my family :)

Got Baby Hungry :) :)

Got Baby Hungry :( :( $$$ :( :(

Flew on jet plane with out kids :)

Flew over Utah Lake after watching “The Hudson River Plane Survivors” the night before on A&E. :(

Made a decision that if the plane crashed into Utah Lake I’d just stay in my seat… Huge Ice Chunks and Dead Cows floating in Utah Lake did not look inviting :)

Ate a Smart Cookie :)

Ate 10 more smart cookies by myself in less then 24hrs :(

Had a window seat :)

Sat by a man who would not STOP staring at me :(

Realized he was just trying to see out the window :)

Came Home to my kids and husband :)

Day light savings time and 9am church :(

Dallen’s Birthday :)

Made “Sprinkles” cupcakes for his cake :(

Watched Dancing with the Stars last night :)

Jewel dropped out because she’s lame sauce :(

Right now I’m :)

So the other night for Kristan Lowe’s birthday party we went and got pedicures and then to Lazette’s to eat food and talk, have a pillow fight, and dance around in cute underwear and bra’s. 

So as we were talking (er… I mean as we were all jumping on the bed in slow mo) the subject of how our husband’s proposed came up.

As you well know, being faithful readers of this blog, that Chad proposed to me with a quarter with a hole drilled in it.  But what you don’t know that he took me to Rock Canyon Park.  Now as I was telling everyone this, I explained that why he took me to Rock Canyon Park was because it was the scene of many “DTR’s” for us and the occasional “NCMO’s” when we wanted to get away from the watchful eye of roommates. 

Some of  the girls looked at me like “Huh?” “What the heck is DTR… and… NCMO”  and I was like thinking… “Huh?  Come on… I mean we’re all Mormon right?”  but then I realized something…you know how the say “the LDS church is the same everywhere in the world”  that does not cover dating slang. 

So I’d now like to educate ya’ll on some Utah Mormon Dating Terms

First you have

NCMO -  Non Committal Make Out  (pronounced NickMo)

You and your partner make out… sometimes for a night… sometimes over a period of a couple of days.  But both parties know there is no long term commitment. 

Which commitment in Utah County consists of at least

• one going out to dinner (Applebee’s or The Pizza Factory),
• a Jamba Juice excursion, and
• maybe going bowling. 

For NCMO you need none of that fancy schmancy stuff -  its making out in it’s purest form.   There are a couple of pre approved NCMO locations.  Squaw Peak, Rock Canyon Park, Alley behind Club Omni, either participants apartment -whichever one has no roommates at home. 

 How does one participate in NCMO… do you just go up to someone and say “wanna make out?”

These are just some examples that I made up for educational purposes.

If they are someone you know:

Say its this guy from your ward.  He’s really cute and he has really cute roommates.  Say you and your roommates go over to their apartment to hang out.  He might want to make out with someone.  So if he asks you to go check out his Book of Mormon on CD collection in his bedroom… this is akin to “hey wanna go make out?”  if you go to check out his BoM CD collection it might turn into a car ride up to squaw peak where you talk about his mission and other spiritual matters.  When you park at the top of squaw peak you might lean in to each other and make out for like an hour or two. 

If they are a complete stranger:

You might be at a UVSC dance where this hot security guard named Nate is checking you out while you dance and tells you that you remind him of Tiffani Amber Thiessen. 

 You then might give him your number and he might lend you his chap stick.  Using his chap stick might make him want to kiss you.  Which after several flirtatious checking with each other to see how the security guarding/dancing  is going, he might motion you to come over to a huge booming speaker where its kinda dark and he might kiss you for an entire Enrique Inglesias song. 

DTR - “Define the Relationship”

You go someplace, preferably after dark,  and sometimes after NCMO and talk about how you feel about each other and where you see things going.  Usually DTR is initiated, executed, and finished up with the girl doing 90% of the talking.  Things that are discussed are :  Do we make out to much,  (the smart guy always answers yes… and yes he feels bad too)  do we need to do more wholesome activities (the guy then discusses fun activities that he wants to plan for them… sledding and going to institute are huge ++++)  Do you see this going anywhere (Yes and then he might want interrupt you to play a Eagles song that reminds him of you to prove that he does see it going somewhere)  Now if you’ve got guts you might pull out the big guns

TEMPLE MARRIAGE

CHILDREN

Now this isn’t talked about in all DTR’s.  T.M. and Children are usually only brought out if you and your significant other have had at least 10 DTR’s.  Which is to say if you’ve had 10 DTR’s and your S.O. (significant other) is still coming around this might = true love and worth talking about which temple you’d get married in, how many children you’d want and what you want your dress to look like. 

I only initiated DTR’s with Chad… we would drive to Rock Canyon Park, sit on the grass overlooking the city, hold hands, and I would talk and talk about how much I liked him and did he see us being together, and did he feel bad that we made out so much.  Which he answered : He liked me too, he did see us being together, and no he did not feel bad that we kissed so much.  :)  Good thing.   Oh and DTR doesn’t end when you get married.  Right  honey? ;)

Its gr8t to say good bye to 200eight.

JK :) 

Some of my favorites from 08

 (an idea that I stole from Mel’s blog.) 

Favorite Song:

a veryclose second: Beyonce’s Single Ladies (put a ring on it)

Favorite Movie:

Bedtime Stories- last movie we saw on Christmas day and we all really loved it.

Favorite new TV show:

Kath and Kim

Favorite Book:

Awesome book.  Couldn’t put it down.  A girl and a guy fall in love and live happily ever after. 

*Ian (the guy) beats Edward as my romantical hero any day. 

Favorite Vacation:

Walt Disney World and Utah and Chattanooga

Kate at cocoa beach in FL during Disney World Vacation.

Favorite Outfit of 08

My mother in law bought me this black dress for my birthday and I love it.  but I bet my ward is starting to hate it since I wear it every Sunday practically.

Favorite Website:

I got called to the primary presidency in march of 08 and I swear if it wasn’t for this site I would have been excommunicated for being rotten at my calling. 

Most Drastic Change of 08:

grew a mustache and joined a gang

Best Moments of 2008

disney world

Chattanooga

dallen is a kindergartner

*joy school

*having great friends

*seeing my family

seeing Wicked!

worst moment:

poor jeepie jeep

You know I really shouldn’t be telling these kind of stories.

I think when I go to heaven (hopefully Celestial… I’m crossing my fingers, and my toes, and my eyes) Heavenly Father will zap me 100 times with lightening bolts for having this blog. But in that case I’ll just say one word and one word only… “Dooce.com” and he’ll say “Never Mind You’re Forgiven” and I’ll say “Thank you” and bow like a Chinese person.

So when I first went to college I was still on the geeky side. I had braces and a wee bit chubby. and wore scrunchies. that matched the colors in my outfit. Red Shirt… Red Scrunchy… Blue Shirt = Blue Scrunchy… Multi Colored Shirt = Multi Colored Scrunchy? No… 3 scrunchies in different colors!!!

Now remember I was 18 and very impressionable and innocent and sweet.

So I’m out on this date with this kid. I have no idea what his name was. But lets just call him Mega Geek. He was also 18. I think I met him at the computer lab at UVSC or maybe the Hall of Flags. Um seriously I cringe when I think of the Hall of Flags. I spent hours there trying to be loungy and look cool… scrunchies and all.

So Mega Geek and I went to a BYU game. and I was soooo embarrassed to be with him. That’s how geeky he was. It was like I know I’m a little dorky but I know at least I have potential. He on the other hand was like thisclose to having to get a mail order bride over the Internet.

Okay so after this BYU game we go to his grandma’s house for cookies and milk.

NOT KIDDING!!!! FOR REAL!!!

I KNOW!!!!

I know. That’s wrong on so many levels.

Then as we are eating our cookies and milk he tries to kiss me and I shot that down with a “uh uh mister” look cause he backed up real fast like…. Or maybe he saw big hunks of Oreo in my braces…

Either way we ended the date soon after that and he drove me home.

So where’s the part of the story that I shouldn’t be telling. The part where I should get zapped for?

Here it comes folks….

Uh remember when I said I’m a people pleaser and I’ll do anything anyone says to me?

Seriously its a good thing I got married when I did. I was probably 2 dares away from frenching a homeless man and then setting fire to a National Forest.

So our next date we go to Subway. So romantic. I probably had lettuce hanging out of my braces. But I probably had no clue so I bet the whole time I was trying to look all flirty and hot… as hot as I could with braces and a cold cut trio saying “hello everyone… nice to meetchya” everytime I smiled.

Then Mega Geek says to me

“Ever been to Squaw Peak?”

“No” I say batting my eyes and fishing a hunk of meat out with my little brace brush.

“Wanna go?” He says

“Sure”

So we go up to squaw peak. which for those who are unaware… its basically the biggest make out point in Utah. You take a twisty windy road that leads up to a magical and mystical look out point.

So we go and talk. we didn’t kiss though. and on our way back down he says.

“Ever play Freeze Out?”

“No. Whats Freeze Out?” I ask… seriously I had no clue.

(I still have no clue if this was even really a game. Or if this kid made it up. Either way I have to give him some major credit for having a goal in mind and having some major persistence.)

“Freeze Out is where you roll down the windows of your car, take off your shirts and see how long you can last before you chicken out and put your shirt back on.”

“Okay” I agree

I AM SUCH A DUMMY COW

So he rolls down the windows and we take our shirts off… er… I did… he said he couldn’t because he was driving.

But here’s the thing… he was probably expecting this cute little bra with hearts all over it or something. All young and cutesy.

but I was wearing a sports bra. A big thick one. and you couldn’t see anything. poor kid.

then he dropped me off at my condo and I never heard from him again. I wonder what he’s doing now? Probably designing sports bras.

I went on to my next date… a 34 year old man who lived with his mom.

No Joke!

Until next time.

*chinese bow*

Welcome back readers and lets continue where we last left our little story.   20 year old Shellie  just closed the door on a psycho who apparently (according to him)  is going to be her husband.

When I was telling Chad this little first date story he asked “And you kept dating him???”  and I said “yes” and he replied “You were so desperate”  and I gasped and slapped him.  what blasphemy!

Yeah I know it sounds simple now…  Like why did I ever talk to him again, let alone go out with him again, let alone write in my journal about how much I LOVED HIM.  But we all do stupid things right?  And I’m not the first girl who’s gone out with someone who is a complete retard.  Look at Paris Hilton, Kimberly Stewart, and Mischa Barton… they all dated Cisco Adler and we all know  how stupid he is.

Also in my defense its ENGRAINED in me to be a people pleaser.  I was the baby of the family, I’m a Sagittarius, and I had cancer when I was a kid.  (my new years resolution to use my cancer card when I can)   (Use it or you lose it I always say)

Everyone knows that they can dare, suggest, even flat out tell me to do something and I will.  Although I don’t think its a character flaw, it is something I’ve been trying to get more a hold of because I know someday someone will tell me to do something illegal, like Claire Danes in that one movie who was in Thailand and she smuggled drugs for someone and got put in prison for like her whole life. I never saw it, so I’m not for sure if that’s what happened.  but you get the drift.   Someday I will end up in a Thai prison.

So on to the story

So Seth calls me like the next day (after gladiator date night) and we again talk for a couple of hours where I find out about a ex girlfriend of his named Tiffany and how she’s married now and etc…  and then during the week he might have come down I’m not sure.  None of that matters though.  Its this next part that gets crazy.

He invites me to spend the weekend with him at his parents house.  (I know I know I hide my head in shame now.)  But I accepted.  His parents would be there of course.  as well as his 6 brothers.  and some girl cousin that lived with them.  So he came and picked me up and we I had my little overnight bag with me . So the first night the family pulls out “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and I have never seen it so I am really excited.  

 

Then as it starts they(Seth’s brothers) are all like “I’m that brother” “I’m that brother” “That’s me”  See there was 7 boys in that family.  and then as the “Brides” start coming out or whatever (I’ve forgotten the movie now) the brothers are like “That’s the one I marry” “that one is mine”  pointing to the girl who eventually ends up with each brother in the movie.  and then Seth’s girl comes up and they say “That’s Seth’s wife! That’s Seth’s wife” and he kind of sighs and says ” That’s what Tiffany looks like”  :(  and then he gets all sad and depressed.

I just kind of sat there feeling dumb.  Then not kidding they all start talking about Tiffany. How great she was, how sweet she was, how beautiful she was.  Apparently his mother loved her. and I felt like I was in Twilight zone or something. 

My last morning I am there I am helping his mom make breakfast for everyone.  Seth was getting ready to go to work and he was standing by me and said “This is what it will be like when we’re married” and I was like “sigh”  because how sweet is that right!!! but now i realize that he probably meant that that was exactly how he pictured us… living with his parents and his mom and me would be cooking him breakfast every morning and taking care of him.  I forgot to mention he was a little over obsessed with his mom too.

So one thing I found out while dating Seth was that he loved curly hair.  He told me that a million times probably.  (also that Tiffany had  curly hair) So I of course went and bought sponge rollers and would curl my hair every time before we went out. Every time.  and curling your hair with sponge rollers in no small feat. 

My hair was short.  Not short short.  Just kinda middle short.  and it was brown.  So when i put rollers in my hair it came out really short and curly.  Kinda like this.

He never really commented on my hair that he liked it or not but I guess thats par for the course. 

For some reason I had gift certificates for a steak house called Carvers in Orem.  Its really nice and I thought it would be fun to go there with Seth.  So I asked him if he wanted to get dressed up and go to dinner with me, my treat.  I got dressed up in a really cute skirt and shirt, had holly do my makeup all fancy, and curled my hair.  Seth came and picked me up and he was in slacks, shirt and tie. 

We are enjoying a nice dinner and a couple comes in and sits next to us.  They were married and a little older, early 30’s.  The wife has long blonde hair which was down and curled…like this

 Seth notices her and looks at her while they are sitting down and then turns to me saying

“That’s the kind of curl I like.”  Basically implying to me that my own little sweet brown bob was a piece of crap in his eyes.  I started tearing up at that.  I think that’s when I started to realize that I had been so dumb to go out with him for so long.  But the next part is what broke the camels back. 

The bill comes out.  It came to $73 dollars and good thing because I had $75 in gift certificates.  So I paid with that but as I’m getting those out I realize I don’t have my bank card on me.  As the waiter is going to enter in the gift certificates I tell Seth that I don’t have money to pay for the tip.  (which would be about $15)  I asked him if he could cover it.  Which to that he replied “Yes if you fill my truck up with gas” 

Yeah I was pretty pissed.  I sat there kind of looking at him “are you kidding me?”  and he drove me home and waited for me as I went and got my bank card and then we went to a gas station and I filled up his tank.  I know that sounds stupid that I did that but I think I wanted to see if he really wanted me to and I also wanted him to feel like an idiot as he watched me fill it up.  Which the answers to above was yes he really did want me to… and no I don’t think he felt like an idiot.

So the next time I talked to him I broke up with him over the phone.  It was civil for the most part.  and I didn’t  hear  from him for quite awhile until one night I got a phone call from him pretty late.  I didn’t answer.  So it went to voice mail and this was his message.

“Shellie its me.  I’m outside and I know you are home because I can see that your car is here.  I just want you to know that I’m sorry and that I still love you.  I have a surprise for you in the morning” 

I had no idea what to think about the “surprise”.  But I didn’t call him back and the next morning when I went to go to drive to work (to Fairfield Inn which was right across the street)  (not kidding It was literally across the street from my condo)  I found my sweet surprise from Seth.

My car was decorated with balloons and those flag pendant banner things… you know like the car dealeships hang around to make their lot look exciting… and a big piece of card board that said “I love you Shellie!”

Crazy!  I hadn’t even talked to him in about 2 months!!!

I scraped all that crap off my car and dumped it in the trash.  I found out later that he got all that stuff from a car dealership.  which explains flag pendant banner thing. 

So I never called him back but I did find out that he had married someone 2 months after that. 

So that’s that :)

The End.

Chad was in an ATV accident.  He is doing okay.  He doesn’t have any broken bones, just scraped up real bad and pretty sore.  oh and he’s loving that I’m taking care of him… I helped him go to the bathroom, take a shower, eat, put him to bed, dressed him, and rubbed his head and said “Poor Little Bunny”

  I am really really hoping that we have enough money to put him in an elderly home when he gets old.  Doing all that stuff is very draining. 

The best VERY best thing of it all was this morning (I WISH I COULD TAKE A PICTURE!!!)  

Last night before I got to the Instacare that Chad was at, Chad received a shot of very strong pain reliever because he was in so much pain.  He received that shot in the behind.  By a male nurse. AKA … Steve.  No big deal.

But this morning after I helped Chad get undressed to get in the shower I saw the band aid that Steve had applied after he gave Chad his shot.  It was a Tiger Print (see middle band aid) 

Seeing that on Chad’s cute little bum just made me laugh so hard.