The other night as Chad and I were watching TV a commercial came on for a Jewelery store.

Chad:  “Did you think that guy was good looking?”

Shellie “Uh not really”

Chad: “really?”

so we re winded and watched it two more times

and I’m like “Yeah he’s not hot. He looks like John Tesh”

and Chad was like “Who is John Tesh?”

“Uh are you serious??? John Tesh! Entertainment Tonight Correspondent in the 90’s!??”

“Nope.”

“I can’t believe you don’t know who I’m talking about… You know John Tesh… he’s married to Connie Sellecca…”

“Who’s Connie Sellecca?”

oh gosh I’m about to have a heart attack

“You don’t know WHO CONNIE SELLECCA is???  CONNIE SELLECCA!  P.S. I LUV U!!!”

“What’s P.S. I LUV U???”

“WHAT! Like one of my favorite shows EVER!!!”

OH MY GOSH!!! …  and all this time I thought we were perfect soulmates! ;)

does anyone else remember this show?

I had such a great day yesterday.  Thanks to all my friends and family that made it so memorable.  Before chad and I left the house for a lunch date and shopping I had a really great time reading FB birthday wishes and responding back to them.  Chad was in the room watching me laugh and smile as I read and wrote and he said “You are just one big emotional connection aren’t you?”  it made me laugh… but its true that I enjoy all of my relationships with all of you that make my life so fun.   I really really love you.  I just can’t help it. 

oh and I got my birthday shoes

they are so hot.  i just want to date them.  and then go sledding with them.  and then make sugar cookies.  and lay under the christmas tree at night and sing christmas carols. 

love, shellie

I just want to go all Jerry Springer on people that piss me off.  Like there’s this one chick that I would love to pull her hair and punch her eyes out.  and lets just say I’d put all my money on me.  and I think you should too.  because I can have rage and I didn’t grow up in some fancy pancy house where I could go spend all my free time fake baking. 

the end. 

merry christmas

So this afternoon Chad fixed him and Dallen some Chicken nuggets for lunch.  Dallen looked over at chad and closed his eyes and smiled real big and said “Dad imagine my eyes have hearts on them.”  and Chad said “Okay.  Why?”  and Dallen said “Because I love chicken nuggets”

Kate my little sassy pants McGee helped me put up our Christmas tree the other day and had a great time playing with two reindeer ornaments.  One was the “Mommy”  and one was “the baby”  Here was the conversation she had them have with each other.

“Why did you poop your pants?”

“I don’t know.  Because I wanted to”

“You shouldn’t have pooped your pants.  That makes me sad”

“Well I’m the Mom and Mom’s get to do what they want”

Oh man she kills me… I burst out laughing because the whole time I thought it was the mommy reprimanding the baby for pooping her pants instead of the other way around.   Well at least I get to do what i want :)

First of all we all know how I do in social situations - not so good.

I will do one of two things

a) say something very inappropriate
(like the time in 8th grade when a boy asked me for my phone number and I thought it would be really cute to interchange the word “sex” for the word “six” 7-5-Sex- 8459)

b) do something inappropriate
(like the time I showed a “new dance move” to the EQ president in my college ward. During a BoMathon.)

and sometimes *cross fingers*

c) do both

Tonight at a Christmas Relief Society dinner was a C night at its finest.  Because I got really hyper… (and I fully blame Liz Jaggi for pushing me over the edge. I was calm and collected before she got there) So Liz and I were talking to this lady about her upcoming trip to Utah

and Liz says “Ooooh you should go to this place called ‘Temple Square’”

and I laugh and add “Also there’s a place in Park City where you can go ‘Tubing’ ” and then Liz and I are cracking each other up and then I get really going and just start being plain obnoxious

 ”There… there’s… there’s this place up in Park City laugh laugh laugh where you can get name brand laugh laugh   stuff for pretty cheap… its called an outlet Mall” and now I’m bent over with how funny I am and almost peeing my pants. 

Then liz chimes in

“Yeah they have stores like …..laugh laugh laugh “Carters” 

and then we both lost it and we were almost crying. 

Then I go into over drive and I’m like “OH!!! AND YOU HAVE TO GO TO SMART COOKIE @ Fort Union!!!” 

 and this lady was like “uh okay?”  but her eyes were saying “get me the H out of here.  get me the H out of here!!!!”  and I could tell she was trying to make an escape route in her mind. 

Well since I could tell she wasn’t committing to Smart Cookie I had only one option left.  So I took the plastic fork I was holding and put it to her throat and said “NO PROMISE ME YOU’LL GO TO SMART COOKIE”  Now I was totally kidding.  But I said it in my best serial killer voice and since she doesn’t know me at all it basically came out like I was totally a whack job.  It probably didn’t help that I was pressing the tines of my cutlery that still had pot roast on it into her skin.  It was kind of a weird moment because I got my own humor and was laughing… but she wasn’t.  So after my chuckles started to die down and I could tell she was a little scared I backed up and then went over quietly to liz. she did make me feel a little better by saying that on a scale of 1-10 of being crazy I was only a 3.  phew.  but thats coming from Liz so basically It means I was at a 9. 

Gosh-

Why do I always ruin things?

I have wasted all of my words doing NaNoWriMo  so I have nothing funny/interesting/cool to say.  At all.  In fact last night I woke up in the middle of the night because I had a dream and it was really really awesome and so I reached for my notepad and pen and wrote it down because I thought it was going to be best novel idea this century.  This morning I read it and it said “Girl in New York search Bagel”  seriously!!! and I remember that I dreamed that I was a girl in New York City searching for the worlds best Bagels.  lame. 

  I just feel so Bah Humbug about blogging.  I feel like a loser that I’m just lurking at all my friends blogs but when I have time to read I don’t have time to comment and then I let my reader get all backed up because I feel guilty reading without commenting… so then when I do check it I have around 300 posts to read and that is overwhelming so I just mark all as read. plus My sister in law and I were talking how its a Stretch to find things to blog about right now.

Like I could tell you about the time that I was at CatchAir with Dallen, Kate and Chad and I climbed on this inflatable horse and said in my sexiest man voice to chad “Does this do it for you Cowboy?”  and Right when I said that I lost my balance and backflip rolled off the horse and kicked a 4 year old boy in the head. 

But I can’t because I already put that as my facebook status the night it happened. 

Or how Chad and I made an oath last night to work out every day until Christmas and if he misses just one day then he has to stop playing W.o.W for a month.  And if I miss one day then I have to play W.o.W for a month.  I think come December 25th we are going to be pretty buff.  and I might have an adams apple. 

Or I could post all the dresses that I’ve been drooling over at Shabby Apple and how I really really want this one for my birthday.  And how I want to get those mustard yellow leather gloves to go with them from target.  but I already told you about the gloves and I don’t think thats really interesting for the general public to read about. 

Oh I know what I could tell you about!  Chad and I were at walmart and we love going to walmart because we always try to see if we could find someone we could take a picture of and send to PeopleofWalmart.com.  So anyway this black lady was in front of us and was wearing this shiny gold halter top and brown leggings and shiny gold high heel booties and her butt was crazy.  and I don’t mean big.  I mean like the perfectly round apple bottom butt.  I could not stop staring at it.  and I looked over at Chad and he was staring at it too and I was like “woah” and he was like “I can’t stop”  and I’m like “me either”  and then we looked around and everyone was staring too…. guys, girls, old, young. It was hypnotizing! anyway I don’t know why I told you this but I think I would have taken a picture but I think she might have gotten all up in my face and that would be the end of me.  anyway I wish you could have been there. Just so that we could talk about it later on and said “woah” and then all you’d have to say is “I Know!”

well thats all I have. I’m sorry for being grumpy. I need to go workout now because I don’t want to be making a W.o.W elf princess who weilds an emerald encrusted sword named Shelkie come December 26th.