when you stare at the sky

have you ever felt  alone

first its looks like navy

then a fading gray

finally the color cold

have you ever looked down at the earth

just wanting to absorb its warmth

and all you realize is that

all you are

is bits and pieces

of rocks, twigs, and dirt

have you ever wished for a life across the water

because you just didn’t know that each stroke

would just take you farther and farther

away from the love that is your home

when all you were trying to do

was find the place

where you didn’t feel so

alone. 

yesterday I was feeling very sad for a lot of reasons.  and I ate 5 krispy kreme donuts and that didn’t even help.  yes in a row.  but last night I had a dream (I dreamed a dreeeeeam…..)  that I was mountain biking in the grand canyon (I don’t know if thats even possible….)  but anyway so I got to the top of this ridge and looked down and felt so small, and scared, but it was very beautiful.  Then these words came into my mind (in my dream)  and they might be just the stupidest words ever… but in my dream I felt like I was maya angelou or something :) 

and thats why I have this blog so that I’m not the only one who has to endure the products of my imagination.  ha ha ha… sticking it to the man. 

another post script…

sometimes I write/feel things because of how i feel about other people’s situations… not because I feel this way (but at the same time don’t we all feel these feelings anyway at different times) 

I just want to clarify because I don’t want someone showing up on my doorstep with syringe full of Prozac ready to inject in my butt cheek. 

Guys! Guys! Hey GUYS!!! GUESS WHAT????

I have the BEST IDEA for a DOUBLE DATE EVER!

A VIDEO SCAVENGER HUNT!!!

we’ll meet at the mall and break up into groups of 4… (2 couples per group tee hee)

You’ll have two hours to get FOOTAGE OF THE FOLLOWING!

• Team member hugging a stranger
• Someone ordering a cheeseburger without any cheese
• Old lady on the ground yelling “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”
• Getting a guy to try on a dress
• Singing “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner” to a TOTAL STRANGER
• Asking a COMPLETE STRANGER for the time!!
• Getting a guy to get down on bended knee and propose to a mannequin
• Ask a old person for a lift on their jazzy scooter
• Find a salesman named “Edward”  BONUS POINTS:  Ask him to bite your neck (WITHOUT GIGGLING)
• Get a perfume sample!!!
• Recite a Monty Python line to a COMPLETE STRANGER
• ask an older gentleman if he has any grey poupon (BONUS POINTS IF HE’s wearing a MONOCLE!)
• GROUP HUG A TOTAL STRANGER
• Have the Guys in your group walk into VICTORIA’S SECRET (10 extra bonus points for every minute he’s in there!!! tee hee hee)
• See how many samples of Teriyakki Chicken you can get before the Asian Couple who runs Chin Chin get really MAD AT YOU!!! (1 point per sample)

okay so thats what I’ve come up with SO FAR but I know’s you guys have TONZ more ideas.  So who’s IN?  and what do you want to add to the list???

Its going to be pretty ultimate :)

to be drunk dialed I think is like an awesome compliment.  but its just something I know will never happen to me… and I just kinda feel a little let down by that.

I’ve only had like 4 boyfriends and none of them drank or currently drink so my chances are like slim to none.

but lets just say my cell phone starts ringing

and I look down at my phone and there’s some weird number that I don’t recognize

and so I’m like

“hello?”

and I just hear some sad music playing in the background (I guess my fake exboyfriend was getting drunk listening to a Bryan Adams album)

and then I hear some breathing

“HELLO?”

“Hey Shellie”  all slurry and sad

“Brad??”

“Yeah… hey I just wanted to tell you i  think i’m still  in love with you and i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry sorry… Sorry… i’m just a little drunk right now…. ha ha ha…”

and then he’d start singing

“WHEN YOUUUUU LOOOOOVEEEE A WOOOOMAN!”

and I’d be all “Brad you’re an idiot”  and then simply hang up on him… and just shake my head in sadness.

So then he’d go into his bathroom to splash a little water on his face

and he’d be clutching the edges of his sink and staring at his reflection

and his knuckles would be all white

and then the chorus of the song would swell

and he’d raise his fist and SMASH it into the mirror and the glass would shatter in slow mo

then a shard of glass would fall on the floor and he’d pick it up and he would look at it and he would see…

my face.

lol

why do i feel like i just wrote an 80’s music video?

post note- had to edit out the lyrics it was taking up to much space.

and I had to re title it ;)

The best thing about being around kids is it gives us the chance to be a kid again.

Here’s some things that Dallen and Kate do that I love doing with them…

1. Playing “Hot Lava”  (stepping very carefully over any crack so you don’t get “burnied”)
2. Blowing the wrapper off every straw
3. Playing tic tac toe on the church bulletin
4. knock knock jokes (even if they get super annoying)
5. Wearing your pretty shoes even if its not Sunday
6. Making kung fu noises and punching the air
7. Making screeching sounds every time you round a corner
8. Spying on people (I love hearing their two little voices whispering in the next room “let’s go spy on mom”)
9. Eating lots of candy
10. Eating ice cream for breakfast (once I made Kate a waffle and we didn’t have any milk so I thought the next best thing was put a scoop of vanilla ice cream right on top.  This happened when she was not even 2.  She still talks about it and asks for ice cream almost every morning :)

Ways I wish I could act like a kid still

• Fuss and cry and then have someone tell me “I guess its time for you to take a nap”
• Have someone read me a story
• Get someone to buy me something just so I stop pouting
• Staying up past my bedtime would be “cool”  (its just not anymore you know)
• Trade up a lunch  (Here’s a tuna sandwich… now I get your grilled chicken salad with asaigo cheese and cornbread croutons)
• I wish someone would shampoo my hair for me every time I took a bath.  I think that is the best feeling in the world.  Better than a massage any day.

So whats your favorite things to do with your kids?

and

What kid thing do you wish you could still get away with?

Tonight chad and I were snuggling and watching TV and since it was valentines day I got to choose what to watch.

the 2010 Olympic pairs figure skating

soooo fun and beautiful

While we were watching this Chinese couple’s program set to some beautifully orchestrated music, Chad starts singing along to the music… I at first was thinking “oh he’s just being silly and making fun of it”  but oddly the words and tune of what he was singing fit perfectly to the orchestrated music.

“How do you know this song?”  I asked him

“It’s the Theme Song to Highlander”

“What’s Highlander?”

and then for the next 10 minutes I got filled in on that there was this scottish guy that could never be killed and could live forever and always stay young…  and the only way to kill him was to chop off his head and the person who chopped off his head absorbed his powers… (kinda how like Dwight Schrute absorbed his twin in utero and now had the power of a full sized man and a fetus)…  oh and it was a show in the 80’s or something. 

the best thing is that he’s really in love with this girl  and she gets all old and haggerty but he doesn’t care because she’s his true love.  *sniff sniff*  Those kind of stories always touch my heart because one day i will be really old and hopefully by then chad will be senile enough and think that he’s the highlander and always love me forever and if anyone tries to kill me he’ll have the strength to smote off their heads. 

so now i give you…. Highlander… now ladies don’t get to turned on at mark :24 

i think I’m going to go dig out Chad’s old machete that he brought back from Brazil and have him sharpen it or swing it around or something 

happy valentines day

love you love you
 

this is a great song to run to… except it makes me a little more skippy and dancey then runny… so I have to really concentrate when I’m running to not start dancing.  serious! 

on that note.  i think I would kick butt at being one of those dancing “CiCi Pizza” sign holders on the side of the road. 

here’s some other songs in my work out playlist

• You’re so beautiful - Akon
• Low - Ludacris
• Bedrock - young money
• Tik Tok - Ke$ha
• She’s got to move - N.E.R.D
• Do you remember - Jay Sean and Sean Paul
• fire burning - sean kingston
• sexy chick - akon  and a white dude (i don’t know his name)

the reason why the last post was entitled “Dream Bedroom”  was because I was going to post pictures of what I really would like my bedroom to look like… but then I somehow started it off on the wrong foot by telling ya’ll about my weird burrito dream. 

So anyway here are some pictures of what inspires me for what I would like my bedroom to look like.  Chad is not on board at all.  He thinks that if we had a white bed set that the kids would instantly go find themselves a mud puddle and then try to make snow angels on top of the comforter.  But this is what I’m holding out for and I’m a girl who likes to pretend that I get what I want. 

by the way I went to yoga last night you know because I’m on a quest for Serenity in 2010 and it helped a little.  There was one part where I was meditating and she was saying “Whatever bad things are in your mind write down the one word that you associate with it, write it down on a piece of paper, roll it up, tie it to a balloon and watch it drift away”  So I wrote down a word, rolled it up, watched it drift away and not kidding the balloon then popped and it came back down to me and i was like “stupid brain”  so then I did it again… and right when I was tying it to the balloon she changed poses on us!!! 

but it made me miss my sister Stephanie a whole lot.  She is a great yoga instructor.  She has this peace about her that I love and appreciate.  And why I love it so much is because she’s really earned it.  and I think thats why people can really feel it during her classes,  because its real and genuine and trusting. 

found this song the other day and i’m really feeling it right now

 especially these words:

No, this is how it works,
You peer inside yourself,
You take the things you like,
Then try to love the things you took.
And then you take the love you made,
And stick it into some,
Someone else’s heart,
Pumping someone else’s blood.
And walking arm in arm,
You hope you don’t get harmed.
But even if it does,
You’ll just do it all again.

Well now that I’ve turned this into such a hodge podge of a post I’ll tell you something else.  I dyed my hair the other day and also my eyebrows and it stained my skin purple.  So I googled “how to remove hair dye stains”  and it gave me some options.  First I used baking soda toothpaste.  then nail polish remover.  burned!  the other option they gave me was to get cigerette ash and mix it with shampoo but I didn’t have any cigarette ash on hand :(  so I kept reading and it told me to get a mr clean magic eraser.  I did that and it worked… but basically it was like sandpaper and it rubbed the skin off my face.  it hurt so bad!!!

oh and I got a new headband yesterday at Target.  it kinda looks like this

that about does it! have a great weekend - love shell

I have been having some STRANGE dreams lately because I’ve been wearing pj’s to bed the past couple of nights because its been somewhat cold.  But the problem when I wear pj’s to bed is that by around 3 am I am INSANELY hot and sweaty and grumpy but to tired to take off my pj’s so then my body tortures me and says “fine you want to turn me into a little sweat lodge?  well THEN I am going to give you nightmares for the rest of the night!!!!” 

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was in a car driving around and I was a teenager.  I picked up my boyfriend and then suddenly he got this grossed out look on his face I followed his eyesight to see that he was looking at my stomach.  I looked to down to see that I was wearing a tube top.  eww.  Now I know this is a nightmare because I think tube tops are a gross look on anyone.  So my stomach was all showing… but heres the thing that was gross… i had this flat stomach but you could see the outline of a rectangular object pushing out through my skin.  you know kind of like that photo floating around where you can see that babies foot on that prego belly. 

anyway so my boyfriend says “what is that?”  and I immediately know what it was “A burrito”  “You swallowed it whole?”  “Yeah”  and then I was so embarrassed that I made myself wake up…

DANGIT!!! I hate when this happens… yet another post that I hit Publish instead of Save draft. Sometimes I REALLY REALLY HATE GOOGLE READER!!!

because even if I delete this post because after I wrote I thought it sounded so Rtarded I know that it will still show up in all your readers anyway.

gosh i feel dumb.

Say Yes to the Dress is one of my new favorite shows on TLC.  Its basically about Brides going to Kleinfelds (a high end wedding dress store) in Manhattan and finding their dream dress.  And I love it love it love it. 

If I could do my wedding day over I would change two things.  I would have had a really nice intimate dinner instead of a reception and I would have had a different dress.  I rented mine (that part was great) but I just wish I could have had the dress of my dreams instead of a $200 rental. 

So if I could redo my dress here’s some dresses that I like…

basically I would like something simple, romantic, and more form fitting.  kindof a vintage look to it. 

So what would you change about your wedding day.  You can comment here or post about it I would love to see.